Brand New

Im brand new to all this blogging stuff but it looks easy and a safer way to pour my mind out. My dad and I got in a fight again. Well, not fighting just him hitting, me crying, and wishing he was dead. I dont always wish he was dead, but when he's like that... I wouldnt mind a bull sending him 5 feet in the air. My imaginary world saved me one more time. My mind being somewhere else helped my big mouth from making thing worse. I dont think I wanna visit my dad anymore. At the same time I do though, hes all alone. No wife, kids left him, but didnt he bring this on himself? It was his violence, his need for fighting! Maybe he cant help it though... I dont know. I let another oppurtunity pass me by, again. The one guy who I liked at my stupid school asked me out, I said no. Im not allowed to have a boyfriend. At first it seemed like the right choice. Not disobeying my parents. Now hes with someone else. When ever I see them I get this sick, nautious feeling. I try to pretend to be happy for him, but it hurts. At least the girl hes with is nice... shes not like her bitch friends. Shes pretty, I think so. Im not sure what guys look for but, how I see it shes pretty. Your sins into me oh my beautiful one your sins into me... oh my bad, im listening to AFI's Silver and cold while im typing. I love this song. Till next time. -September 1, 2008